Viva Oxnard. In 4 days. The quiet beach with the quiet waves and the wide open sunset-filled sky.  My oldest brother, Scott, my oldest sister, Nikki, her husband F and my two famous little nephews I helped raise 4 years ago, within Mindsay. They're 8 & almost 6 now. It's remarkable.

It's indescribable, the chairs around the bonfire on the sand of California...the waves I used to dream about are as blue and as velvet under the sunlight as I imagined back on the farm at 12 years old. Extraordinarily, my Dad stays there. He's a part of the air, the movement of the ocean, he's the sparks flying up from the fire and the light in my brother's eyes. A small part of my heart naturally beams when I visit there.  I like to push my feet in the sand, there; lean back and breath in the beach like a flawless indulgence, a sparkling presence. There is no question, I belong by the water.  I come so alive there.

I came back East for love, after living in San Diego in 2004. I mistook a lover for what should have been a best friend and I let myself return to Virginia where I thought love was waiting for us there. I lost that friend but, nonetheless, Virginia is home, more than California will ever be, I have realized.  I live in Maryland now, with Nathan, life's best gift so far  --I love it, but Virginia has the history that molded me into who I am so I couldn't possibly not call it home. I know its roads and its trails on my grandfather's farm in Hartwood, I know it better than I ever wanted to, truthfully.

Silly me. Plotting and plotting at 21 years old. I didn't know shit. Life just happened. All of a sudden I am the happiest I have ever, ever been in my life. I made so many plans, I made so many changes, but life has a stronger engine than me, it has its own direction. It's marvelous. I wouldn't dare hit the brakes. I just cruise.

I can't wait to see everyone when I land at LAX!!!

I love Nikki's smile. I can't wait to kiss my nephews