All original material in KaraMac@Mindsay © 2008 WWW.MYSPACE.COM/KARAMAC

It's funny watching my cousins.

I fought rush hour and went down to Virginia today to Ashburn. My Nana was visiting the new addition, Kristen's older sister Jessica has a 6-week-old newborn named Jacob. They came for dinner to my aunt's house as well. They live right down the road. We were all in a baby fog. Jacob is incredibly enlightening.  Babies  just do that kind of thing, I guess.

My youngest cousin, Katelyn is 13. It's bizarre for me. I remember living with them when she was just 3. At thirteen I was in rehab two different times that year and not even for drugs. Now that the sun is out longer, it was 7:00 and she was begging my aunt to let her play soccer with her friends and she swore she'd be home by 8pm to do her homework. It was so foreign to me.

I laid back on the couch watching them negotiate work with play. It was normal and that felt right.

The conversation was so simple and perfect. I felt a pang of hurt, unexpectedly...10 years ago Aunt Sonya was having that same synonymous debate with me--I was 15 and had just freshly left home, my mother, and all familiarities of everyday life. She called the shots and her judgment was beyond more sensible than mine ever could have been at that age. Parenting has always seemed tremendously artful and lucky to me.

My eyes and ears were cautious but thirsty, I wanted to observe both ends; structurally, innocently and rationally. I looked over at little Jacob and thought that soon, we'd be all gathering in the dining room next March, celebrating his 1st birthday... Jessica and Robbie would be doing that in ten more years, with Jacob.

It's crazy. Time just goes...We walk and time runs.

I hold a thousand memories that crawl in remembrance, it repeats still, years after, and time just keeps turning on lights a few steps before us.