All original material in KaraMac@Mindsay © 2009

Alright, I'm back.
With a little bit more, maybe

I just don't visit here often enough

      Where Love Goes

                                                                                                       May 10, 2005

 

 

 

One Day...

 

I won't be thirsty

and the rewards of

superior wellness and health

will allow me to head down

the path that I am supposed to be on...

 

One Day...

 

I'll trip on fate

one silly day and

let all that has hurt me before

brush through me and

out of tomorrow's reach,

leading me to you...

 

One Day...

 

I'll extend out my arms

while my mother

helps me into a white dress,

the piano outside in the crowd

barely reaching my ears

while my heart

is resting with the one

my father picked out

from Heaven

 

One Day...

 

I'll roll up my sleeves

and clean the dishes

from a dinner well-enjoyed

that fed mouths I gave birth to

while smiling at the window

the sun bowing down

to the same stars I've dreamed under

since ever...

 

One Night...

 

I'll lay on a pillowcase

asking for God,

resting so safe under

a roof that is mine,

and thanking Him

for all of the days that

showed me where

love goes

 

...and what it means.

My sister is in jail.
Bethany...small and quiet, smart enough to make anyone feel truly uncomfortable, and she is without toothpaste until tomorrow...She is without everything.

I can't dip down and take her out, take her away. She belongs to San Diego County until October 25, 2009. I can only send her books and letters. Believe me, I will. But I am in pain for her. I don't feel pain that much anymore...for her, though, it flourishes.

She went to law school. She is normal. She is in a cell. She's completely without resources. I can't have that. I can't have her without...
She deserves to do the time. She did a legitimate crime but I can't sleep knowing she's totally vulnerable as a target. She's so small...

She's my big sister. I can't protect her. I can just send her letters.
Now, more than ever, I want my words to be the strongest I could ever make them be.

I really can't be thankful enough to be able to cruise through the Archives...man, that hits home and brings back memories I totally forgot...

All those times I wrote that well because I was listening to music the whooole time Great music.

It's 72 degrees and humid. However, I'll gladly take that over 30 degrees any day!

Okay, I have to continue my Pajama Day.

DUDE!

1) Tubbs likes Orange Cream Yoplait Light

2) I'm engaged.

Have you ever just turned everything that makes noise off in your house, sometimes?
Your fans, your TV, your phones, everything?

It sort of pulls you back for a few minutes. It's deafening. It's truly a treat.

Yeah, so we're having shrimp teriyaki for dinner tonight. Actually Nathan is. I already ate a chicken wrap. Nice and boring, per the usual time of year to be anal before bikini season revs up once more.
SO there is supposed to be another ice storm on Monday night for us here in MD. Right now outside it is like pieces of crushed, jagged glass everywhere. It's almost poetic.
I am a freak when I walk Tubbs because I don't want him to hurt himself.

Tomorrow is Friiiday I get off at noon on Fridays, which is awesome. I get to sit on the couch and watch TV and pretend to do laundry for a few hours. It's wonderful.

This whole event of looking for a reasonably priced townhouse that isn't a trashed, foreclosed one in the Mid-Atlantic area (or anywhere I guess) is WAY more stressful than I had imagined. I was completely romanced by the flippy color panels at Home Depot and the curtain rods at Bed Bath & Beyond but now the whole mathematics of mortgages and the comparison of "fixer uppers" and "updated models" is about to send me spinning off into a whole other galaxy. Not to worry, the Granite Dream has not fled my determination. I'm leaning a lot on fate at this point. It hasn't failed me yet, anyway

Well...I guess that's it.